All material here copyright May 19, 2013 Kyle Joseph Mulrooney. All rights reserved. I’m going to start a business, so don’t any of you reading this steal my idea.
- All material here copyright May 19, 2013 Kyle Joseph Mulrooney. I’m going to start a business, so don’t any of you reading this steal my idea.
Painting by Abdias DeMarin
Mushrooms are plants, and can be fermented. It’s not like fermenting other things. I started out brewing kombucha, and thought, “I wonder how mushrooms would ferment?” So in the classic style I put mushrooms in sugar water instead of the scoby of the kombucha. I saw that the mycelium in the mushroom ate the sugar and became a strong mushroom ferment beverage, and I saw that some mushrooms physiologically put a word on your tongue, telling you what it is; some mushrooms told you(me) they were emotional mushrooms, Maitake is love, and Reishi is hate, and some mushrooms are body parts growing in nature. In the larger picture it seems like all mushrooms are body parts, but some are circulatory, and can’t be pinned down to a part, but are more like fluids that exist in the body. Frankenstein science, the art of putting a body together with mushrooms.. I bought all the mushrooms there were in the store, and bought some online. Honestly, I don’t know if kombucha is made of mushrooms, who could after 2,000 years?(that’s how old it is), but mushrooms make a similar drink, and some of them even make a scoby that multiplies.
Lion’s mane is quite obviously the brain mushroom, as I fermented it and it tasted brainy, and then I fermented it in a clamp jar and the fumes of the ferment built up and collected around the edge of the rubber seal. At first I ignored the crystalline substance made by the fumes, but randomly I ate some of it and it was concentrated brain cells, and instantly made me feel like I was getting smarter. I was only able to create those crystals one time. I believe fresh Lion’s Mane is the key to making Smart Sugar. I tried with dried and powder.
Smart Sugar is the best new product of 2014
Another mushroom makes a different kind of brain tonic. Chaga, namely, after a month of fermenting in a large jar in the typical sugar, tasted specifically ingenious. It made a dark, black liquid that went to my brain and told me I needed it.
Truffles.. I fermented a black truffle and tasted like a nose. Strange to taste a body part in a ferment, but there it was. It also gave a snobby feeling. I have a white truffle in the refrigerator and will get to it.
I would like to make combination chocolate truffle/mushroom truffles one day.
Woodear.. woodear mushroom looks like an ear and doesn’t let us down; it tastes like an ear, and tells us, ‘Mulrooney’. After a few months of fermentation, it connected my ear to my throat and made me operatic for a few seconds.. a fine singer’s tonic.
They turned milky white, like skim milk, and connected my ear to my throat, making me naturally talented, for a few moments.
Maitake.. you might have to find the right strain, I fermented it when I first started and it tasted like love. I gave it to my neighbors.
I wonder if Maitake mixed with Reishi would be schizophrenia/schizophreniz cure
Reishi.. Ganoderma Lucidum.. beautiful latin name needed by a hate mushroom, sounds sort of like Lucifer. Very hard mushroom. Can’t break it in your hands, well maybe fresh: I’ve only had dried; comes in a variety of colors. According to modern researchers, Reishi is highly immunological and medicinal; as I recall, I fermented a whole Reishi in a clamp jar. If I gave it a better shake, i.e. more air, maybe it would shine more.
Chaga.. Just like Woodear, it tells us a word.. Siberia, where they’re from. And makes a dark, black liquid which feels like a brain tonic, but a different kind than Lion’s Mane.. The duality which reminds us that the brain needs different things. The brain expresses as Lion’s Mane and feels like Chaga. Chaga tastes a little lost, and self-hateful, then becomes Ingenious.
Chaga is loaded with melanin, and I guess that substance in (your) skin feels ingenious in your brain. Sugar is a vehicle in getting it there.
Trametes versicolor.. Turkey Tail.. amazing, this one ferments to give you liquid immunity; just make sure to give them all enough air or you’ll get sugary syrup.
Cordyceps.. carbonates a lot, and tastes like hands, feet and skin.. Fermented long term and it tastes like politics. Don’t ask me, just try it and see it is the mushroom of politics. It might heal scars and be good for blemishes. I think cordyceps was reserved for the king of china, and others were put to death for eating it. Then he told people to eat shiitake. It makes sense, too. Politicians parasitize other people.
Long ago someone said cordyceps was good for running. More like the kind of running you do in politics.
Portobello.. was strange. It makes a nice drink, but it says, “Berry Halle”. Just like the actor. Should I say The Hollywood Mushroom?
Button mushrooms, crimini, and portobello are all the same mushroom in different stages of growth. Photograph copyright http://www.YumUniverse.com used by permission
Blue Foot Chanterelle.. is one of my old favorites. It well with it’s reputation tastes like a foot, and fully fermented cures loneliness, I swear.
Starting to ferment they taste lonely, and like,a foot. Over a month, and with enough sugar, they lose the foot, and cure loneliness.
Fly Agaric.. The real controversial mushroom is.. Amanita Muscaria. It is known to be hallucinogenic, but its effects are misunderstood, and since I am the only one whose ever tried the fermented beverage, only I have experienced its power of being a cancer cure. The medical establishment doesn’t want to admit that hallucinogenics fight cancer. Clowns take it personally and say that a hallucinogenic mushroom won’t cure cancer. The medical establishment doesn’t want to popularize society. [Medical establishment is not society] Warning: This product might cure cancer, so don’t you medical establishment people get all up on me and try to have me killed. Maybe researchers are working around the fact that fly agaric is hallucinogenic and the main cancer cure mushroom, and finding other cancer fighting mushrooms. No one wants a hallucinogenic cancer cure mushroom.
The first time I ate these it erased my mind and it came back fifteen minutes later. They are a cure all, and Santa Claus.
Candy Caps ferment and taste like a tongue
A friend of mine told me they make you lactate. That doesn’t seem to make sense.
They say there’s fungi that lives in cactus spines. It must be a remarkably strong strain. Mycologists should be on it. Maybe every cactus is a kind of exercise.
Golden Barrel Cactus. Combined with Risperdol, gave me a feeling in the center of my chest that I had to do push-ups.
There is a theory that if you eat enough, and enough kinds of, mushrooms, when you die and are interred into the dirt a new kind of mushroom might survive you.
If the world pollutes the world into myco-extinction or it comes a time where there is one last mushroom, we could put in sugar water, and it would last forever.
A lot of mushrooms are unsatifying to eat. Some are too hard. You simply can’t eat them, such as Reishi, and Chaga. You must become very hard to become hate; Reishi is the mushroom of hate. Reishi is so hard you can’t break it in your hands. So some mushrooms seem to lend themselves to fermentation, because you can’t do anything else with them except powder them.
READ NO MORE IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE GROSSED OUT BY ‘DISGUSTING’ MUSHROOMS
Morel.. is the mustache mushroom and the (glans) mushroom. Eating a lot of them might make a man’s glans bigger, as well as help grow a good mustache. This is one of the mushrooms that creates a gel when you ferment it, depending on the species. If it means moral, it is strange; a tug-o-war between the mustache and the glans Anti-moral.
If you’re going to use it as a “growth tonic”, ferment all the sugar out of it first. It hasn’t been tried yet.
French Horn.. King Trumpet mushroom.. the shaft mushroom. I don’tknow if it’s psychiatrically safe to eat these mushrooms, but if a man rubs it on his shaft, it might make it bigger, and maybe cure sexual dysfunction.
Xiānggū.. One of the first mushrooms I fermented was Shiitake. It tastes putrid, like insanity, ass and incest, in different potencies. At further ferment it loses those qualities and just tastes like a nice drink; telling us that the ass is not a bad body part. I would laugh at people at my store buying shiitake. I think the only use for it is as an enema.
Cuitlacoche..Corn Smut is the perversion mushroom. You will be happy to know there is a perversion mushroom, it just tastes like perversion when you ferment it. What else can you expect from fermented corniness? It is nothing without corn. Further fermenting it, adding more sugar, it becomes an aphrodisiac that can’t be denied.
I hope this never gets used the wrong way, only harmoniously.